Response - Beloved 5-8

Response – Beloved 5-8

Annie Kominek

            While looking around on my Audible account, 12 credits in tow and so many ideas of what books I wanted to use them on, I found myself searching for Beloved before any other book. I bought it immediately after I saw that Toni Morrison herself was reading it, downloaded it to my phone, stuck in my headphones and headed off to work. I re-“read” the first four chapters, this time with Morrison’s voice soothing my ears, soft as cream. Through her voice, I was able to experience a depth to the story that I had not otherwise experienced. Her voice conveys a subdued energy; a pervasive sadness that comes from a core of strength. I will, from now on, be listening to Beloved as I read it.

            In these chapters, Beloved appears as an older woman. We also learn that Halle was broken when he witnessed the boys taking Sethe’s milk. Sethe has either assumed Halle was dead or resented him for leaving her, his children and his mother that he worked so hard to free. After finding out that Halle bore witness to Sethe’s torment and never stepped in to stop it, she was incredulous. I like how Paul D replies.

            “Hey! Hey! Listen up. Let me tell you something. A man ain’t a goddamn ax. Chopping, hacking, busting every god-damn minute of the day. Things get to him. Things he can’t chop down because they’re inside (Morrison 81).” What Paul D said was that not every man is infallible – he can be broken, he can be hurt, he won’t always be the only sturdy thing in someone’s life. Many women took strength from their men for thousands of years, but a man can be emotional, too. Even a man has a breaking point, and Paul D was trying to get Sethe to understand that. To understand that it’s not because Halle didn’t want to. It’s not because Halle didn’t love her, or his children, or his mother. It’s because Halle, at the moment he watched, was frozen, and couldn’t move, and couldn’t reconcile himself with what he was observing. Perhaps he felt like a spectator, that it wasn’t real, or maybe he felt like jam, stuck and thick and slow.

            No matter the reason, what happened to Sethe was too much for Halle and it broke him, inside, deep where it counts. Halle had lived through so much, seen so much, and what happened to Sethe, it got to him. And he couldn’t’ chop it down or stop it, so he ended up eating butter, and in my mind’s eye I imagine he was weeping. Everyone has a breaking point; most of us will never reach ours, but Halle found his and never returned. Something he couldn’t reconcile, but Paul D explained his problem to Sethe better than I ever could; succinct and true. It is even good for us all to keep in mind. I know that sometimes I expect miracles from the man in my life, but I have to be reminded that he is just a man, no more.