In the chapter “Why im not where you are 5/21/63” Oskar’s grandfather is writing to his unborn sun, Oskar’s father about how he was unable to stay with the grandmother of Oskar why.  Oskar’s grandfather is a very interesting character in the book from many viewpoints, considering his absence in the books present tense, yet still having such impact on the reader’s emotions.  In this chapter, the grandfather wishes to explain himself to his unborn son, as to why he wasn’t able to stick around.  There are obviously many layers to this broad idea of abandonment, but he explains one of the main causes is from the distance between him and Oskar’s grandmother.  All of the rules and “nothing” places created to help control and organize the two’s relationships backfires and in turn creates conflicts and stress between them.   They begin to assume that one another know of  “nothing” and “something” places and begin arguing over the confusions.  This idea of creating "nothing" spaces can be respected and also denied as a successful means of controlling and aiding a relationship in my opinion.  Everyone needs time to themselves, and also time away from their other halves or loved ones, but this can be done in much more sensible manners.  Having a square space in the middle of a bedroom, living room and ect. is no means of actually separating yourself.  Even though they saw themselves as separated, they still knew when one was there, and was looking for escape, only drawing attention to the tensions between the couple. This only brought more tension to the relationship, and drew them further from one another as they began to loose control of what was "something" and what was "nothing".